Instead of diving into the darker and deeper thoughts of yesterday and tomorrow, I want to dive into the events that seem to discombobulate my mind even more than when I leave my front door in Holland. First off of you ever been to Europe, or if you have watched a Lady GaGa video, you know that stupid mail hair styles really exist. I'm talking about grown men with hair shaved on both sides then a long strip like a paved rode in the center that goes from forehead to neck. Sometimes its even curly. Picture Rihanna's hair. It really is scary when one of those hair-dos is on a bike heading towards you. What I don't do, but suggest, is duck for cover immediately and then yell and point 'even out' so maybe just maybe they will realize that their hair is is no way acceptable and must grow on all sides of the head. If I saw an ignorant American duck and perform such an act toward an over metro european man I would probably be "rontsl"- rolling on the ground snort-laughing.
What also boggles my little mind is that old Dutch people ride bikes better than Lance Armstrong. I am dead serious the old folk of Holland and Belgium can still locate their quads. They probably have better quad definition than most fraternity guys I know, and well, they take themselves seriously in the looks department. Lance Armstrong may be able to zip through France, but I'm talking casual riding with groceries piled on the back, cars everywhere, and pedestrians like myself trying to enjoy the one day of sunlight mother nature blessed me with. These old men and women may be the most talented athletes on the planet, yet they receive no recognition. If yours truly were one of these stallions I would be mad ticked off, I mean PEEVED that curling is an Olympic sport and what I do is overlooked. I've been thinking about getting a petition signed and making this a competitive sport, giving the Dutch another reason to drink Heineken. Imagine: Ages 65 and up, grocery bag on top of back tire, grandchild sitting on front handles, 4 lb coat and boots on, bike weaving through cars, town centers, and parks competition. I mean I would pay serious money and require they were singlets to really show what time and cycling can do for a person.
On a more serious note I want to talk about the fact that I think Europeans are all alcoholics, thus making them free spirits who don't give a you know what. Not only are there bars located every two to three blocks, but all stores and workplaces close at 5pm so these people can go indulge. I'm sure they eat too, but more importantly is that stores are only open from 9-5 maybe 6 everyday...and nothing is opened on Sundays. This is brilliant and why the Dutch are incredibly nice. Imagine if you never had a late shift and the only people who have late shifts are bartenders, and lets get real most bartenders I know sip sip too. For some reason there is a correlation between them not working much, and drinking mucho, and not judging the incredible old people-cycling antics that occur. You would be darned by some of the ridiculous concoctions that appear in broad daylight and no one even looks such as the man probably 60 yrs old carrying a 12ft ladder in one arm and riding his bike through the town center. I'm telling you folk, there are some things that only happen in Europe and the locals have no idea how great it is.
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